Thoughts at 4 Am

I wrote these poems because I was experiencing extreme depression. I still suffer depression but use these poems to get my life into perspective. These poems allowed me to change my day from lying in bed, feeling completely numb, and having no ambition to connect with the outside world, to getting up and going for a walk to the park. I then started walking long distances to the beach and was walking sixteen kilometres a day for a few weeks. I didn’t talk to anyone, but one day, I went to a cafe and met a person I once played football against. I told him my story, and he listened for over an hour. I then started doing some work, and things progressed to now, where I’m seeing a girl. Writing these poems saved my life. My three beautiful children, whom I missed, became my focus again, and a light turned on in my head. The poems are not overly positive but are the realisation that balance is essential for happiness, and my marriage allowed me no balance. They are related to my personal situation and might not relate to anyone else, but I still read these poems often, and they are what I use to keep my life in perspective. I hope they can do the same for someone else.