My poems are the foundation of the life I lived for so many years. From the frustration to the humiliation to the mental anguish my soul begin to die, I became numb, not to give up yes to give in to things happening to me. I lost myself in this shuffle and I played the hands that in reality I deal myself. There were days I thought I was going to die because I couldn't see the light in days I lived. All I have left is the faith I have in God, knowing God mercies are new every morning yet I ask God why me. In survival mode, focusing on how to fix the problem asking myself how can I. My mind always in a race and my thoughts are not clear. My actions yell loud and my voice is not heard so I question the value of my very life. Some people are hard to love and some are very easy. Through it all I seek God, God's will God's way! I chose which I had choice, deep within the pain the uncertainty left me with fear because of the unknown. Concern for my life and the life of my children I question every move made. The day came when I got over me and stop trying to change my husband and change myself. In the process I begin to heal to live again, knowing I can only control me.
