Marie "Roon" Kenne and Maude "Raud" Hayes have spent forty-five years perfecting the art of domestic bliss-which mostly involves Roon keeping Raud from leaving the house without underwear and Raud making coffee strong enough to revive Frankenstein. Their biggest drama these days comes from Erline, their theatrical betta fish who has opinions about everything.
Then Roon's ex-husband Hank calls.
Well, technically he leaves a voicemail that's equal parts heartbreaking and terrifying: "Honey, it's me. I'm not sure where I am. I don't like it here. It's smelly and dark. Will you come and get me, please?"
Hank suffers from CTE and hasn't exactly been Roon's problem since their brief marriage of convenience ended in 1970. But when someone that confused goes missing, you don't just delete the message and pour another cup of coffee-even if that coffee is made by an Italian machine that cost more than their first car. What starts as a simple welfare check turns into something much darker, involving greedy sons, suspicious baristas, and family members who'd sell their own grandmother's dentures for the right price. Lucky for Hank, Roon and Raud aren't your average septuagenarian sleuths-and when they take in Tristan, a transgender teenager with his own complicated story, this unlikely trio proves that sometimes the best families are the ones you choose. A cozy mystery that's as warm as morning coffee and twice as satisfying, perfect for readers who believe that age is just a number and love comes in all shapes, sizes, and decades.
"When life gives you lemons, don't waste time making lemonade. Just say screw the lemons and shake up a margarita instead."
