I wrote these chapters when my daughter was almost three years old, having raised her alone from the age of four months, and having taken on most of her daily care almost since day one. I was 41 years old; my daughter was my only child. The original intention was for light relief and some way to get through long dark winter nights in a mountain village with no TV in the house, but the first chapter, 0 to 6 months, quickly debunked that idea when the memories surfaced again of just how much there was to do and be prepared for. Along with this came a depth of understanding of the situation, both emotional and material, I was in at that time. Raising a child alone is not an especially healthy thing to do; the pressure cannot easily be shared, and you're alone with the good bits too which is a pity. So trying to write this booklet became an increasingly difficult balancing act between the original intention and the facts, which are, well, not exactly doom-laden, but certainly carry a weight matching and even exceeding the values attached to ones own life. Nevertheless I hope that some of that original intention survives. Having said that, hardly a day went by when I didn't bless the fact that she was constantly in my life, and I cannot imagine the pain of those who must unwillingly forego that presence. There may never be many men who arrive at quite the position of being a full-timer, but an increasing number who must, and are often more than willing to give and take some of the time they have. Which brings me to a major point: the outside world is going to have to more than tolerate single-parenthood, it's going to have to positively cater for it, because it's happening, more and more, partly because of the pressure to produce, make it, get ahead - and worse: to appear cool about it! But if the Establishment continues to try to condemn and squeeze out this phenomenon in reaction to a perceived threat to moral values and the national profit ratio then the pressure and the situation can only get worse. What this notion of success really amounts to can and will be argued for some time to come, but all that really succeeds after all are our children. They succeed us, and maybe we'll catch some of that reflected glory if they can look back to where they got a good start, without having to pay for pressures they don't understand or need.
