You Can Keep That to Yourself

Greetings, well-intentioned person of pallor!

Your good intentions used to be enough. But in these diverse and divisive times, some people would hold you accountable for your actions. You were not raised for such unfairness. You need help. Now, Daquan-that black coworker you are referring to when you claim to have black friends-is here to give you that help, as you navigate perilous small talk with African Americans.

How to use: Whenever you are confronted with an African American and you feel compelled to blurt out an observation about her hair or to liken your Tesla lease to slavery, take a moment to consult this reference. If the keen insight you want to share is listed herein... you can keep that to yourself.